I just cooked for about 8 hours and am about to do it all again tomorrow! Yep, it’s that time of year. Some would say it’s the Super Bowl of the NFL season, if we didn’t already have a Super Bowl- it’s Thanksgiving week! Next week’s recap will be outlined in delicious detail, but for now, we’re back to our normal categories.
Highest Scorer: Skid Marks (160.3 points)
I thought I had this one locked down, but I had to pass it on to Skid Marks. The Mario division leader has practically made the Highest Scoring position his time-shared apartment as frequently as he earns this one. The assembled roster here is one fit for Thanksgiving itself – it’s gluttonous. Oozing with fantasy fabulousness from Hurts, Breece Hall, Saquon, Tyreek, DK, and DeVonta Smith. Even Schultz scored a touchdown! It is very apparent that Skid Marks is hunting for the overall points prize pool this year, and kudos to them for seeing an easy grab where it is! Skid Marks will likely have to keep his winning streak up though, there are three other 6-5 teams on his tail with just as many points to boot.
Biggest Blowout: End Zone Jones vs Pay Day Gray (73.2 points)
And just like that we’re back to another point-doubling blowout by the victor! I feel even more trite than a broken record. I feel like an annoying podcast ad saying this: End Zone Jones is legit and is not going anywhere. Alan is as much of a fantasy vet as anyone here, yet this year feels like his breakout. The man gets auto-sorted into the hardest division and just doesn’t lose! I’m not going to crown the next Nostradamus here, but there is something to be said for reading yesterday’s news and knowing what the weather will be today. If that metaphor didn’t land, I’ll put it this way: Purdy, Tank Dell, and Singletary balled out last week and put up similarly dominant games this week. The one eyes-covered-dart-throw has to be the mind-boggling decision to roster previously-unheard-of Dontayvion Wicks. Who? Well, he’s none other than the Lambeau’s leading receiver from Sunday! In actuality though, Pay Day Gray’s roster got the rough end of fantasy luck. A roster with Mahomes, Kenny Walky, Mike Evans, and Deebo should be able to top a 100 without sweating. This week though, nay. Nay for Pay Day Gray.
Closest Matchup: lansing leopards vs Adam Schefter’s Sources (1.24 points)
With Adam Schefter’s Sources nabbing this narrow win, somehow they are tied with their opponent here – lansing leopards. That is hilarious. Ostensibly, leopards might have been in a competitive playoff hunt if they had advanced to 5-6. Three more weeks to get above 0.500 and maybe a tie-breaker here or there. However, Jake had to say a big NOPE! How’d we get here? Well, finally we have a classic close matchup. The neutralized plays of Christian McCaffrey and Cooper Kupp make us wonder if, indeed, White Men Can’t Jump. No, that rhyme didn’t really mean anything but I couldn’t let it pass unobserved. leopards and Sources also mostly cancelled out on high-profile player matchups like Deebo vs Diggs and Pollard vs Rachaad White. Even though Stroud threw three interceptions (two of which were inside the 25-yard line), this loss ultimately comes down on Hurts’ shoulders. Ironically, the Eagles fan Adam Schefter’s Sources benefitted from Hurts not rushing one more time or completing another 30 yards or so. I will be the last to say that this win means anything for Jake and the Sources. I think he’s just playing spoiler to anyone else. But who am I to judge? That’s my strategy too now.
Biggest Find: Dontavyion Wicks (12.1 points)
Yeah, this wasn’t a monstrous breakout or anything. But all of the highest scoring, rostered players were either too high profile or expected. So I’ll touch base again on Mr. Wicks. Yeah, I’m back. This 5th-round rookie led GB in receiving yards on Sunday. He recorded 27% of his season total yards this week. That’s not even hyper-inflated by a long, busted play. He’s recorded a long of 30+ three times, and he’s played every game. According to CBS Fantasy, he was on 2% of all rosters last week and played in 1%. I mean we’re talking true shot-in-the-dark material here. There’s probably not much more to say and that has to do with how little we know about Dontavyion or what this performance even means! Good on End Zone Jones to find the touchdown in the rough.
Biggest Bust: De’Von Achane (1.5 points)
This award could easily go to Derrick Henry, Kupp, Najee, A.J Brown, Aaron Jones, Diggs, Ekeler, or any other star who couldn’t break double-digit points. But I’m feeling spicy. Achane spent the last month on injured reserve (plus a bye week!) nursing a knee injury that I wasn’t even aware was that severe to begin with. My take was that the Dolphins were being as careful as they could with their human Roman Candle running back. To remind you of his dominance, he rushed for 460 yards and seven touchdowns in five games. Two of those games were when he had one carry. But like his week 5 outing, this game saw him get a catch and a rushing attempt before he yanked himself from the rest of the game. Two smart teams played the stud in our league and they sadly wasted him like Cheeto-dusted caviar. I predict I’ll see a lot of Achamp once the playoffs begin and we know more about his status. Till then, I fare thee well.
I’m going straight to the playoff watch so I can get to bed! Reminder that the top 6 are division winners and the top 14 make playoffs.
- End Zone Jones (9-2)
- Scrantonicity 5 (9-2)
- The Hens (8-3)
- Skid Marks (7-4)
- Freak of Nature (7-4)
- Saquon Deez Nuts (7-4)
- Drew Crew (8-3)
- She Sucks My Boswell (7-4)
- Southport Skegs (7-4)
- skol! go yikes (7-4)
- The Realest (6-5)
- Woman in S.P.O.R.T.S (6-5)
- Lannisters (6-5)
- Billy Hoyle’s Big Bounce Academy (6-5)
- CobbSlobbers (6-5)
- The Good Guys (6-5)
- AR5 Fan Club (6-5)
- Gamecocks (6-5)
- Love Me Sexy (6-5)
- Kirk Cochainz (6-5)
- Titan Your Butthole (5-6)
- Dez Still Caught It (5-6)
- Kingpins Of Crime (5-6)
- Scorebox Munchers (5-6)
- Krusty Krab Pizzas (5-6)
- Jalen “oh god yes it” Hurts (5-6)
- Jerry West’s Office Window (4-7)
- Bob Barker’s House of Pain (4-7)
- lansing leopards (4-7)
- Adam Schefter’s Sources (4-7)
- Just the tip Jefferson (3-8)
- Just Setting Lineups So I Don’t Get Fined (3-8)
- team Web (3-8)
- The Funks (2-9)
- Pay Day Gray (2-9)
- Waller? Hardly Know Her (2-9)
