This is also your reminder to play any JETS or JAGS for tonight’s TNF game.

Highest Scorer:

Dez Still Caught It (163.7): Someone call 9-1-1. There’s been a collision on the Dachshund highway. In their third matchup of the season, the newcomer Mills Thrills (no apostrophe) took on last year’s third-place finalist and was able to trounce Fisher in a heartbreaking loss. Consider this, Mills Thrills would’ve beaten 7 teams of the 11 competing. He would’ve tied the Freaks of Nature at a specific 134.1 – BUT, he lost by 30 points to his divisional rivalry. Something makes me think that we may see some mimicry between these Eagles and Cowboys fans in the NFL playoffs. Dez wined and dined his way to a fancy victory, sparing no expense. The Philly stack of Hurts/Brown totaled for 50+ and Chase McLaughlin made his presence felt in the Colts’ 33-point loss. Oh also, Derrick Henry had 200+ scrimmage yards. No big deal. This slotted Miller’s team just a couple nominal points ahead of Andie’s Pearls who similarly slapped her opponent. 

Biggest Blowout

Women in S.P.O.R.T.S Points vs. Freak of Nature (66.76): Within one point of the other blowout, we are here to honor Sel’s Freaks for continuing to raze his competition in spectacular fashion. My word, have you ever seen such a sustained streak of dominance? The Freaks of Nature are likely division winners in any other bracket if not for facing the Skid Marks, but they continue to puff their chest. There might have not been more radical styles to playing this league between the sometimes empty lineup’ed “Women” and the bargain hunting “Freak”. And it showed in the Wildcard week of playoffs. Having expended most of their top player capital, Brooke resorted to touchdown luck with Pacheco, Dak, and D.P.J. While this panned out in the short term, it was no match for a resurgence from A.J “timeshare” Dillon and Michael “PPR” Pittman. Dalvin Cook may have been a little red light, green light this year, but this week he reminded football viewers that, yeah he can still catch a pass for 80+ yards. 

Closest Matchup: 

Inches, from 4th and Inches vs. She Sucks My Boswell: (1.14)

This is fascinating to me. Last year, Daniel and his Inches were one of the teams that might’ve on occasion submitted an empty lineup or an MNF-only roster. This year? It’s been a whole different ballgame. With the introduction of the spreadsheet system, Daniel has been launched into contender-ship. In the same breath, Kenneth and the Boswells have been on a tear looking for that point total advantage. Coming into Monday night, Kenneth needed Christian Watson to do exactly what he’s done the last few weeks. Alas – his 8.6 performance was basically one catch shy of clutching the win for the Huskie division point leader. 

The Kingpins of Crime vs. Southport Skegs: (1.08)

Now comes the downfall of the Kingpins. Tosh has been itching and scratching at a chance to prove himself in the post-season. This week it came. Cobbling together an impressive collection of Herbert, Adams, Allen, and CMC, this would seem to be the roster to beat! Nonetheless, the Fantasy Gods are finicky foes. With uncharacteristic sub-10-point performances from Davante and Justin, it was a gut punch for the crime lords. Yet, the Skegs of Southport similarly busted with Danny Dimes and Bam Knight. While that was a more expected outcome, it nonetheless made the nail-biter that much tenser. At the end of the day, the Kingpins got locked up in the clink and the Skegs stayed on course! 

Biggest Bust:

Jonathan Taylor  (2.3 points):

Only one team played the Colts starring offensive player – Joe. There are few words to say here except that there’s nothing you could’ve done. This seemed like a smash play, but the guy got banged up before he could even make his presence known. Yes, it’s Matty Ice. And yes, the O-line isn’t what it used to be. Perhaps, the first-time coach, Jeff Saturday, may have played into things. But in any case, JTT got squat for the big dawg. 

Best Find: 

There really isn’t a best find except perhaps Chase McLaughlin – who balled out in the disastrous fire that was the Colts/Vikes game. 

Best Find:

Christian Watson (24.4):