This serves as your week 13 reminder to play any Bills or Pats for TNF!!
Anyways, here is your Thanksgiving recap!
Roasted Turkey: Josh Jacobs (48.3)
Yeah. This guy. Last five games, 526 rushing yards, 20 receptions, and three touchdowns. 5th-year-pro Josh Jacobs is basically writing his contract for the next team. The super-senior was denied his fifth-year option by the cash-strapped Raiders. Yet, in this season, he’s doing his best CMC, King Henry, and vintage Zeke impression. With an 86-yard house call, this guy is the centerpiece of any fantasy team. This is the one you show first. This is the piece that you sprinkle that parsley on. Josh Jacobs IS the Turkey. Can’t trade away; can’t give up; this guy is the man. Let me just add that he did this monumental performance with a calf injury. And also- here are the 300-yard scrimmage leaders in the NFL- Priest Holmes, Adrian Peterson, Billy Cannon, and the roast Turkey himself.
Mashed Potatoes: (57.46)
This is the stomach expander. The carb-a-loader. The thing that makes you think “Why do I even eat this stuff?” This is the biggest blowout. Despite two no-shows from my pathetic roommates, we got a clearing out from Miller and the Dez-crew. LeBron and his bunch wanted a win – so much so that they went all in on the high O/U of the TItans. A fumbled TD and touchdowns from Pacheco Walker, and others, Chewy should be moonwalking toward a victory. However, Miller woke up and said, “not today”. Aside from a blanked TE play, the guys didn’t score fewer than 15 points! Pour on the chives, add the bacon bits, and let’s get some gratuitous butter. Dez Still Caught It laid on the pain to the similarly philosophical LeBron James Is a Bitch.
Stuffing: (165.26)
Bread + Broth + Turkey. Who made this up? It’s outstanding. Whether it’s Stouffers or a homemade Herb-Feast, Stuffing is always a staple for the November Stupender. That’s what Dez Still Caught It feels like. With picks like Herbert, Garrett Wilson, and prime-time plugs Perine and White, this squad was given the honorary trophy at noon. The kicker here is actually the kicker (well, him and the defense). When the tail-end of your team outscores your opponent’s Running Back Corps, it might be time to signal off. Dez beat LeBron by a commanding 57 points. Almost as many points as the victory-led teams against empty lineups. Stuffing leaves you full. But a blowout leaves you comatose. Good Luck, LeBron.
Leftover Sandwich:
Here’s the lay of the land, a week post-feast
- Guys
- Freak
- Inches
- Joc
- Dez
- why
- WOMEN
- Bob
- Skid
- Skegs
- Mills
- Samoyedes
- Kingpins
- Boswell
