Good mid-morning teams!
I hope everyone’s week is going along ok and you’re all ready to compete in Week 4!
This serves as your reminder to play any Dolphins or Bengals for tonight’s TNF game.
Anyways, here’s the recap – enjoy.
Highest Scorer:
Scrantonicity 4 (142.9): Matthew has entered the chat. Determined to not suffer a divisional loss, the Scranton City big band put together a team that looks more like a Pro Bowl roster than a one-time pick ’em. The assembly of Allen, Barkley, McLaurin, and Diggs alone probably portended defeat for the Pizzas. Yet, a fortuitous play of Ertz (while targets one and two in Hopkins and Moore are out) and a coming-out party in Singletary hurled this team from mere victory to utter annihilation. One wonders, though, what could’ve been if Justin ‘future OPOY’ Jefferson put up even a pedestrian performance. Instead, the stud limped to a lowly 4.4 points. Sad. This high-scoring affair might have been unwise though. the Krusty Krab Pizzas basically pulled a Mike McCarthy and punted on this week. They rostered essentially no #1s for their respective offenses and couldn’t even break 70 points. A win’s a win though. Keep trucking, Mr. Spreadsheet.
Honorable mentions: “Inspire Money” Initiative & MooseNOAntlers for putting up similar scores against their division rivals.
Biggest Blowout
Bob Barker’s House of Pain Points Jalen Hurts Better Be Good Or Else (88.98): After being last week’s blowoutee, Garret and the Gang said enough is enough. They totaled a respectable 125.5, only expending A-listers like Davante Adams and Travis Kelce. In fact, the value came in the savvy selection of Thielen and Greg the Almighty Leg. Kudos to Bob Barker, for the price was right. Now, a blowout is like a tango, and it takes two. Joe’s pitiful performance deserves to be raked over coals. Notching two zippos and even a negative point tally is offensive to the eyes. Don’t let your children look at this point tally, for fear of pre-mature blinding. I can maybe see where he was coming from if I crook my eyes through 3D glasses while doing a handstand. Perhaps, Mecole Hardman catches a 99-yarder. Maybe Mo-Alie Cox catches a ton of mid-yard check downs from Matty Ice. But above all, I cannot believe my eyes when I see a Philly fan, of their own volition, roster Nelson Agholor. I leave you with this – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dz7sFwpG6o&ab_channel=6abcPhiladelphia.
Closest Match:
Loose Ends Only vs Freak of Nature (0.6): In all my days. Pain. Pain is all I can imagine Charlie is thinking when he checked his score Tuesday morning. The perennial contenders, Freak of Nature, had two positions left coming into the ugly Monday Night game. Sel needed 19.9 points to tie. 20 to win. But as the Yiddish adage tells us, when men make plans, God laughs. Or in this case, that God is the immortal one – Jerry Jones. Pollard exploded for 46-yard run, and the Dallas defense solidified victory with a typical Danny Dimes turnover. Can Charlie be totally blamed? I don’t think so, David Montgomery lasted all of two seconds on the field which led to a Khalil Herbert RB #1 performance. In the vast multiverse of reality, Loose Ends likely turns this into a dub. Perhaps we live in the Darkest Timeline. In any case, with this victory, Freak of Nature stands atop the league with 390.76 points through three weeks. Only one word for this: impressive.
Honorable mention to Kansanasans vs. Pay Day Gray for tallying some 3 odd points in MNF to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Biggest Bust
David Montgomery (1.1 points): Eight teams played the second round running back from the Windy City. I’m no math major, but that’s one out of four. That’s some serious groupthink to land a paltry 1.1. I honestly think that I could record more than that if I were in the backfield. I shouldn’t make light of this though, Montgomery suffered a knee and ankle injury and it’s really not his fault. Fantasy managers weren’t in error to play a middling-to-good running back against one of the oldest defenses in the league, the Texans. All that being said, the results are basically split in terms of it mattering. Three of the teams that rostered Monty won. Maybe the moral of the story is to make your lineup foolproof.
Honorable mention: Darrell Henderson Jr. (1.7) Alternatively, the three teams that opted for what seemed to be the Ram’s lead back all lost. Fool me once Sean McVay.
Best Find
Mack Collins (29.96): There were quite a few options for this one. Thielen won the week for the four teams that played him. Amari Cooper and Jamaal Williams were positively inspired selections. But I got to hand it to Matloff’s GM to read the tea leaves and see that Mack Collins has led the Raiders in targets through three weeks. Furthermore, with scrappy, nose-to-the-grindstone, ‘just gets it done’ Renfrow out, targets were on the menu. The man who doesn’t even come up on an ESPN search with ‘Mack Co-‘ went 11-8-158-1. Makes you wonder if Collins and Adams had a Freaky Friday situation or something. Who is Lindsay Lohan in that case? Look at the Dachshund Division tilt in question, and you’ll see that without Collins’ blowup, the Kupps barely get to victory. With the Mack-attack, it’s a foregone conclusion. Well found. Now the question is if this is sustained or a blip. Stay tuned on the next episode of ‘The Raiders are Bonkers’.
Weekly Oddity
Eight distinct players recorded a grand total of zero points. Might be a record? The Giants also got negative points.
Also, after two weeks of no-shows, the Kansansanas have been supplanted by one of last year’s former teams. Please welcome Luke back to the fold taking his spot back in the Rotweiller Division. Coming in late, he was able to pull one over on Pay Day Gray. Stay tuned for his new team name!
That’s it! Have a great rest of your week and I hope you enjoyed the write-up.
