Hi all – here are the standings and scores. Let me know if you have any questions.
Couple housekeeping things before the write-up:
1) this will serve as the reminder for the Thanksgiving game players
2) regular season ends after week 14
3) refer back to the first email with all the rules, but 14 teams make playoffs in this format – regular season record -> divisional record -> points
Otherwise, happy Thanksgiving! I hope the following is as satisfying as a Thanksgiving feast!
Roasted Turkey:
The roasted Turkey of Fantasy this week is none other than AJ Dillon who put up 15.7 points for 9 teams. When I think Turkey, I think centerpiece. Everyone takes of a slab of the bird whether it be white meat, dark, drumstick, or wing. AJ Dillon performed with similar versatility nabbing 6 catches for 44 meanwhile rushing 53 yards on the ground. The Green Bay running piece proved more than worthwhile to wait for the butter basting
Mashed Potatoes:
The Mashed Potatoes of this Fantasy week manifested in the above average quarterbacks. Mashed taters are truly hit or miss. Too smooth, too thick, too chunky, too silky, too garlicky, too bland, this dish is way too easily polemic. More than often, one will order mashed potatoes as a side to their steak, or what have you, only for the dish to disappoint on magnitudes that ruin the entire dish. Such is the case for those who played the following QBs: Dak, Pat Mahomes, Burrow, Tannehill, and Russ. Those sides were severely undersalted, underbaked, and unworthy of being in your lineup seeing as none passed a paltry 10 points.
Stuffing:
Nick Chubb was the stuffing of this pre-Thanksgiving feast. It’s the one meal you eat at this time of the year, and wish you had more often. Chubb has been out for more weeks than fantasy managers care to worry about, however, he came to prove himself in week 11. Granted, it was against the Detroit Lions, but nonetheless Chubb ran for over a Century and gave roster managers the rushing stuffing they’ve come to expect. Filled with the goodies of celery, onions, broth and spice, folks can expect Chubb to be serviceable for one week, two max, more.
Cranberries:
For me, cranberries are the sweet and sour experience of Thanksgiving. Tart berries mixed with sweet brown sugar, orange glaze. A perfect yin and yang to the imbalance of an otherwise way-too-rich holiday meal. The matchup between why am i doing this and Femme Footbales similarly represents the Sweets and Sours of Fantasy Football. With a week minimal .64 margin of victory, Sarah’s team continues to stay in the headlines. Despite not sharing a single roster squad member, the two teams came within in one point of one another. In an otherwise normal field of Thanksgiving matchups, where overperformers beat underdogs, this matchup resembles the cranberries: weirdly placed, not sure why it’s here, close to belonging, but not quite right. That’s what happened between these two teams. Better luck next time, Andie.
Mac and Cheese:
Mac and Cheese, as laid out by defensive end Matthew Judon, is simply an overindulgent side dish that doesn’t belong on the Thanksgiving platter. In the same artery clogged vein as that metaphor is the blowout that The Good Guys laid out on The Scorebox Munchers. In a double-your-total matchup, Zane’s guys rounded into form once again. As is the case with Mac and Cheese, this usually does not come cheap. The Good Guys used expensive players like Austin Ekeler, Nick Chubb, and DJ Moore to round out a 3-cheese victory. Even though Conner’s Scorebox Munchers played Mac Kraft Jones, that doesn’t guarantee the team a proportionate score.
That One Pie
Every Thanksgiving there is always that one alluring pie. Whether it’s bespectacled with fruit, frosted with chocolate, or chimneyed with cream, it looks like the belle of the ball. We’ve all been there, you make your plate and preemptively eye the dessert table and see that beauty. When the time comes, you slice yourself a piece of decadence, and what befalls you….despair. It falls flat, it lacks flavor, it just tastes plain bad and you can’t explain it. Despite someone putting at least some time into the dish, it’s worthless from a gastronomical perspective. What play equates such derision you may ask? That, my friend, is the play of the Tennessee Titans. This Defense has exclusively been played (in this league) in trap games and has not won your week! Today they scored 3 points, a negligible total against the beatable Houston Offense.
Leftover Sandwich:
The oft-regarded leftover sandwich, aka Moist-Maker, aka Turkey Tartines, aka Stuffing Submarine, aka Mashed Potato Sando, aka Fall Feat O’ Pita, aka Pilgrim Full Grin of Food, aka Turkey Key to my Heart, is the culmination of the weirdness that encapsulates a day of overstuffing. Let’s examine what might fold itself into that munchie:
1) Freak of Nature lost to The Vanilla Nut Taps by 6 points. This may seem mundane until you realize that Sel’s freaks only rostered 6/9 positions, double-playing the other spots. Had Sel been able to throw someone in almost any other spot, they would’ve won the week.
2) Fatal Flom’s & Deshaun in the Wind won. That’s pretty weird unto itself
3) The Kingpins of Crime beat Judge Jeudy despite missing a TE spot and fielding a negative defense. I’m not sure who that speaks more to.
Anyway, it’s late, and today is officially Thanksgiving! Have a great holiday and be thankful that we get to do this stupid, dumb game together!
Cheers and I wish you all an unforgettable Holiday weekend.
