Attached are the Week 1 results; let me know if you have any discrepancies or questions. I’ve also finalized the schedule for the remaining 13 weeks, so save that if you care. 

One note before the rest: reminder to send in your lineups by midnight Saturday (exception for TNF games). I accepted some pre-kickoff rosters because it was week one, and I also sent some manual reminders. But in the future I may not have time to do so. Please be vigilant! 

Some fun stuff. Every week, I’m gonna post some weekly awards (non-financially rewarding).

Highest Scorer

The Good Guys: Simply put, it’s hard to do more with less. Zane bet big on the week one rookie wideouts (and on the second year QBs), and that bet paid off. Zane also smartly faded Brandon Aiyuk, edging for Deebo who blew up for a massive 31.9. When your weakest link is the Vikings D at 4 points, you’re probably on the right track to just obliterate your opponent. And Zane’s Guys needed to score big when one examines Luke’s team Deshaun in the Wind and their respectable 124.46. Zane looks poised to do well in this league considering The Good Guys  didn’t expend any obvious high caliber players on his Week 1 roster.

Biggest Blowout

The Score-box Munchers: Don’t look too closely at this ‘blowout’ by Connor. He would’ve lost to 6 other losing teams by only scoring 101.16. Min’s starting roster may not look like much, and that’s because they aren’t that much. Many of the players he opted for don’t actually belong to teams. Min paid his $30 though, so it’s ultimately his decision. The Commissioner’s office will be eying the situation closely for potential collusion. Honorable mention to She Sucks My Boswell who beat out Tight Ends Only  with a near 70 point margin. The Happy Division may be shaping up to be the NFC East of this league.  

Closest Match

The Vanilla Nut Taps vs Adam Schefter’s Sources: 1.36. 1.36 points. I dare ye to find a tighter margin of victory among fantasy matchups, not to mention the whacky nature of this league. At first glance you may say that Knapper and his ‘Nut Taps’ were blindsided by an atypical Washington performance and an Aiyuk surprise sit, but then you see that Jake and his ‘Sources’ played Aaron Rodgers’ worst(?) start ever and the ever-injured Raheem Mostert. I’d be surprised if we see another nail biter like this for the rest of the season. Jake finally broke on some good luck, and Knapper has got to be wringing his hands.

Biggest Bust

The Niners Offense: Sans Deebo Samuel (who was played by three managers), San Francisco did not do well for your team. Kittle put up a decently respectable 9.8 for Andie’s Femme Footbales, but that’s not the game-breaking performance you’d expect from PFF’s highest graded player ever as of 2019. Brandon Aiyuk utterly devastated the four teams who played him with a surprise perma-trip to the bench. But it was truly Raheem Mostert, who was started by a whopping 10 teams, that tanked the league this week. Mr. Must-Start was a lock to rush for 150 yards and two tuddys against the piss-poor Lions Defense, instead he left the game after two touches (no downs). When you see that he averaged 10 YPC on those two touches, one can only imagine the potential fantasy magic that Raheem might’ve brought to your team. At least he can’t hurt you anymore, being on IR for 6-8 weeks.

Biggest Find

Deebo Samuel & TJ Hockenson: The easy candidate for this award is Deebo, as laid out above, for bursting onto the scene with a meteoric performance. But three teams had the wherewithal to pick the 3rd receiving choice for SF against DET. The much harder decision was for Kenneth and his Boswells to play Hockenson against a vaunted Niner’s defense WITH Jared Goff lobbing the ball. Kenneth was the only team who played the madman and it paid off heftily with a breezy TE #1 outing. TJ may be among the top five tight ends to begin with, but Kenneth nabbed a surprising, juicy matchup against (ironically) Charlie’s Tight Ends Only. Honorable mention to Andie for being the sole starter of Tyreek Hill who casually popped off for 37.1.

Hope you all enjoyed this and I’ll email you all a lineup reminder on Thursday!